hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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