dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
