Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
