I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
