I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize