yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
