But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
