He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
