Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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