just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
