i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
