didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
that's an acceptable place to lick
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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