the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize