im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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