Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
