Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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