Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
