im drinking this country out of the recession.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
