the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
