I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
