she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Randomize
