if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
