I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
