Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
