We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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