Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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