Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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