It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
