just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
