Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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