Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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