fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
