Kiss
Puke
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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