He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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