I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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