The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
