Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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