Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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