she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
A bitchslap is in order.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
