good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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