Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
