Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
What a dumb baby whore.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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