what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
