He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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