Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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