We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
