made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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