He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
My penis needs a shock collar
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
