I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
So many bounce houses so little time
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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