The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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