Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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