is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
