Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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