dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
