we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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