he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
My cat gives me a boner
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
