i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
