I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
This is my gift to your gina
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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