I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
third nipple confirmed
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
