atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
