He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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