wake up i wanna do it froggy style
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize