never play flip cup with pint glasses
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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