I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
why do cheetos always look like penises
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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