): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Randomize
